A strange feeling

What is that? I turn my face slightly toward the ceiling and squint my eyes a little bit.

Is that a little hope I'm feeling?

Oh man, it's been a while...

I almost didn't recognize it.  

At the mall today, I turned and looked through the window of a maternity clothing store.  Can you imagine such a crazy thing?!?

I have caught myself reading about baby names on more than one occasion.  Even thinking about twin names, bahahaha! I was scared that it might induce a baby hangover, but I didn't care.

I've been thinking about my minor home reno projects that involve painting or other chemicals, and wondering if those will ever get done.  Because, you know I might be pregnant soon and all.

I'm livin' on the wild side here, folks.

A huge part of me doesn't want my hopes up in fear of the crash.  And oh, it will be a big one if this doesn't work.... but I don't want to think about that now.  I cannot help it.  I'm actually starting to get a teeny tiny bit excited for our upcoming transfer which is tentatively scheduled for the first of March.  

Oooh.  The first of March, that means a November due date.  See what I mean? My mind is wandering these days to places it hasn't been in a long, long time.

The hope of today feels to me like the first few times we tried donor embryos.   Except this time it comes with a side of 'a lot more pressure' and 'scared shitless of failure'.

This is first time we're doing this with odds significantly in our favour (Dr. Schoolcraft said 80%).  My uterus is good.  I think.  The embryos will be good.  I hope.  Holy crap, this just might be it.