The results will give us our answer

"The results will give us our answer".  That's what Schoolie said.

But what I got was: "he's perplexed".  I probably never ovulated.  My body needs to be "reset".  They want to put me on a mock cycle. 

The protocol:

1.  Stop the lupron. 

2.  Estrogen priming (2mg 2x day of estrace.  For 16 +10 days)

3.  Add Endometrin on day 17.  3x day for 10 days.  Continue with the estrace. 

4.  After the endometrin get a period 4-7 days later (ha! this sounds familiar). 

5.  In the next cycle they will add the estrogen patches.  I will have a lining check and they will monitor my estrogen and progesterone to make sure I don't ovulate through. 

The option she gave me: When do you want to start this new protocol? Today? Monday? 

Given the tinge of blood on the u/s wand, and these ever present cramps, I wonder if my period just may show up tomorrow? And, yes, I'm pleading with the universe- please, please just show up tomorrow! I won't be mad at you, I promise!!!

I asked, if I got my period tomorrow would they let me start?  She gave me two answer at two different times in the conversation.  A) She says none of this has been right with my body, that we need to just shed this lining and be done.  B) that yes, if I got a period tomorrow we could just start right away on the estrogen patches.   

I decided to start on Monday.  To give myself two bonus days and time to get my meds. 

There was some debate on if I should stop the lupron immediately? Or wait until I start this mock cycle on Monday?   She told me to stop it.   Even if I get my period she says it will not affect next month's outcome because they will be monitoring me (commencing 1 week after starting patches).   

Her reminder to me was, "Don't read into this".  She said this is not going to determine our chances of success.  That I can grow a nice thick lining.  She told me that I was kind, and that she never dreaded calling me after I wished her well at her new job.  I needed to hear that, the second part was a nice bonus, and the first part really helped calm me down.   

I asked her overall what the doctor thought happened this month? She said she didn't get an answer to this. 

I asked her who my new nurse was.  Was she new?  She said no, that she was her supervisor, and she had been consulting with her all along when my body wasn't cooperating. 

I asked again (first time was yesterday) if the lupron could have affected my period?  She says that depot lupron could do this.  That it's a heavy dose and it shuts down the pituitary gland completely and stops a period.   However, I was on tiny doses (10 units).  She doesn't think the tiny doses would do this to me.   D and I are both thinking differently though.  We think the lupron has over suppressed me for IVF - why couldn't it over-supress me in this way?  Maybe this makes no medical sense but it's a funny coincidence that I've never had this problem before taking the lupron. 

An hour, I got another call.  

She said that Dr. Schoolcraft wants to add Lovenox to the list (an injectable blood thinner).  40 mg every day.  Yipee.  Bring on the bruises. 

I also got a chance to ask her if it was less risk to just take the pill for the month, rather than these higher doses of estrogen and progesterone?  She said she would ask the doctor.  Later, I asked when people start the pill and she said between days 1-5 of their cycle.  I was like, "oh, so not day 52?", she said she'd check with the doctor, but she thought that he wanted more control and to "bring out the big guns" with this protocol.   Hmm. 

For the protocol after the mock cycle, they said they would monitor me closely, but there was a 10-15% chance that I would ovulate through.  I reminded her that I was usually in the small odds for weird things to happen.  

I asked her if we should regroup with Dr. Schoolcraft?  She said it wouldn't likely have anything different to say.  D says he felt like it was a waste of time the last time we did it, that he didn't learn anything.  I don't want to throw good money out the window for the consult but also don't want to be cheap while we're already spending this much money.  It's actually quite stupid that it's not just included in this.  Many of the other CCRM doctors don't charge for regroups I'm sure.  I'm going to look into that more on Monday.