Grateful

Whoops. I didn't mean to be away that long, from reading about your lives and telling you about mine. 

As most new parents, I've spent most of the past two weeks awake, and baby spent those two weeks sleeping, yet free time has been very elusive.  

Sorry to have left you all hanging. 

Friends, he is so amazing. He is a healthy, happy little boy. The adoption experience has been so tremendously positive. The birth family are genuinely some of the most amazing people I have ever met.  We are so, so lucky. 

A friend asked me what's been the most surprising thing about being a new mom. I told her it would be something adoption related. After thinking about the question more, I've realized it was something else. 

I never in my wildest dreams imagined that the pain of 7 years of infertility and loss would melt away in the way it has.  Don't get me wrong- it is still there. I have not forgotten the pain of my journey, nor the pain of yours.  I never will.  It's just that my love for Carla, birth dad, their families and this precious, amazing baby boy is so shockingly abundant, so powerful, and so surprisingly healing. I could have never imagined anything this wonderful for us.   Life feels pinch-me good, for the first time in a long time.  I'm savouring every moment. 

I will write a full account of his birthday and the time we spent with his birth family. I want to remember and cherish every detail, so I promise not to wait too long to do so before the memories fade anymore. 

With love, 

J

He's here!

We are so in love. With Carla, birthdad, their entire amazing, supportive family. And of course with this lil' guy. 

Born yesterday 7lbs 8oz.  He's doing well. Hoping to go home tomorrow. 

My heart is exploding with love. 

Just a quicky

To say that Carla is being induced tomorrow afternoon! :)))) 

If you are the praying type, please say a prayer for her. 

Will update you all again when there is news. 

Xo

What a weekend.

My heart is full.

We had a surprise hour long phone call with Carla. She's so genuinely lovely. So sincere. So great. I love her. She's feeling much better and we are happy for her.

Then, shopping and buying things for the baby and setting up the nursery. Every package I opened, i had a tinge of "maybe I shouldn't in case this has to go back", but I took the plunge and did it anyways. When I see the baby stuff in our house, I can't believe it's real.  I love looking at it all.

My BF and MIL planned a surprise shower for us today.  It was just our closest friends and and family. It was perfect.  No games, just good company, yummy food and lovely gifts.

We also spent time with Lainey, Paul and their infant daughter. We ate an apple tart that I made and enjoyed hearing about their parenting & adoption experiences and snuggling with their daughter (and their cuddly cats too!).

I'm savouring this moment. I am so grateful to Carla. Because of her, and her choices and sacrifices the world is a sweeter place.

To you

Scrolling through the blogs I read I was really struck (once again) today. 

Because, you know what? You are all awesome.

The things you have fought to get through. The battles are fighting today. The healing that you have Worked to achieve, the support that you have offered to your partners and to your friends.  I feel lucky to have a glimspe into your lives, and for you to be a part of mine. 

I am impressed with your strength. I and I am equally impressed with your ability to be real, and be vulnerable. 

I'm glad you are a part of my life. 

Xo