I really don't think it can get any better than Babykins. He's simply the best. However I would love to experience this all over again. Okay, well, maybe not all of the moments in the first three months, ;) but everything ever since has been so much smoother.
However, I deeply just want to just enjoy Babykins infancy and toddlerhood without the added stress of going through another process, adoption or fertility. After being stuck on the fertility wheel for seven years I am enjoying the freedom from being and feeling like a patient all of the time.
First, adoption rocks. Waaaaay more than I ever could have imagined in my wildest dreams.
Second, I'm feeling more and more anxious about pregnancy and pregnancy loss. It could be selective perception, but I feel like there have been a lot of people having very difficult pregnancies and births around me. I'm not looking to be one of them. And, I've been half-assed trying to loose the 5 pounds I put on since Babykins arrived, and it's not going anywhere. I don't think I'd be good at all at trying to shed pregnancy weight and I'm about at the brink of not having a good body image. I feel petty and silly even bringing that up, but I'm just being honest.
Third, we feel an obligation to give our four precious embies frozen in Colorado a shot at life with us or someone else.
Fourth, my moods are still out of whack and I don't want to make them worse. (I'm seeing my doctor Saturday about them... I have a very busy week coming up but I hope to post again soon on how that goes. I'm nervous about it!)
Here's what we decided.
3) Hope that we get our answer with our embies one way or another quickly, so that trying for another adoption might be possible if it doesn't work out.