Wednesday, 21 November 2012

Finding friendship in unexpected places



Part of our IF journey has included adopting embryos.  This week, I am reminded of this part of our journey because we recently visited with the woman from whom we adopted embryos.

We learned about open adoption during our home-study process.  We felt that it would be best for our children if they had access to their genetic family.  We felt in our hearts that people aren’t limited in the loving relationships they can have.  We took a leap of faith and trusted that the children would benefit from an honest and open explanation around the loving way they came into the world.  We wanted them to be able to have their questions answered by their genetic family if and when the time arose.

From a parenting perspective, we felt that it would be easier on us not to do this.  We personally did not want any connection with the genetic family, other than to express our gratefulness to them for the gift they gave to us.  We felt our lives would be easier if we didn’t have to “manage” a relationship with them.   Or, so I thought.

Two years ago, we were chosen to adopt their 6 embryos.  They wanted to meet with us in person before finalizing our match.  The couple traveled four hours by plane with their biological daughter.  We spent a weekend together that coincidentally fell on statutory holiday called “Family Day” in the province that we live.  

I stressed like I have never done before in preparing for their visit.  Stressed as in clean-every-closet-and-redo-the-spare-bedroom-including-the-paint kind of stress.  I had many freakouts on my husband and had insomnia every night.  It was an anxious person’s worst nightmare, to host the couple that held your dreams in their hand.  

They came, and were gracious guests.  They came to church with us and we showed them around our city.  They told us that they enjoyed their time in our home.  At the end of our time together, she cried when she told us that they wanted to give their embryos to us.  They said never expected to be in a position to help another couple with infertility, but they wanted to pay it forward.  They had a child from adoption and one from surrogacy and had received a lot of help in building their beautiful family.

We were happy and excited that they chose us.   It was the second time we had been matched with a donor couple.  The first had not wanted any contact with us.  So this was a very different experience for us. 

A lot has happened in the two years since they chose us as their match.   We were fortunate that all six of the embryos survived the thaw, and we transferred them two at a time.  The final two resulted in a twin pregnancy, which sadly ended at 8 weeks. 

Finding out we were pregnant was a wonderful time that didn’t last nearly long enough.  The fact that I was pregnant made the embryo adoption process feel “real” to us in a way that it didn’t previously.  One of my first thoughts after learning that I was pregnant was that I would know the donor couple for the rest of my life.  It was an overwhelming time.

In the time that has passed, the donor family and I have kept in touch.  She has turned out to be an especially wonderful blessing to us.  She has become our biggest cheerleader in our infertility journey, having been through a tremendous amount herself.  She has shown me that she is not afraid to be present within someone else’s grief.  She has shown me love and support in a way that I have not experienced from my own friends and family.   For me, five years into this IF journey, there is a depth of grief that I only feel comfortable sharing another person who has experienced infertility.  She has turned into that person for me.

When we visited their state for a vacation last spring, we spent a weekend with them and had a lovely time.  We spent time with their children in their beautiful home.  It was the start of our relationship as friends.

This past weekend, she was visiting a friend nearby.  We invited her to come spend a couple days with us as well.  We had a wonderful visit.  While I wondered if she was still analyzing us, even if it was to a much lesser degree (I think I would be?), it felt like genuine friendship.

When she left, she left two beautiful cards.  One thanking us for our hospitality and another cheering us along in our IF journey.  Along with a nice personal message it said:

I believe in mind over matter.
I believe in miracles and blessings both great and small.
I believe that hurdles in life are meant to be jumped over, not as something to stop us.
I believe in possibilities.
I believe in the human spirit.
I believe in you.

She encouraged us to keep working towards realizing our dreams, and said that they will be that much sweeter when they finally come true.

It tears me up to read this.

I had a great time with her, and I genuinely like her and think she’s a wonderful person.   She has been one of my biggest blessings along this IF path.  She gave us the chance to become parents - a wonderful and awesome gift.  She also gave us the gift of support and friendship.  For all of these things, I am grateful.

It feels ironic now that I entered the relationship thinking only benefit would be for our children, when the real blessing has been bestowed upon us.




Tuesday, 20 November 2012

The Baby Shower





This summer, my brother’s girlfriend of thirteen years announced she was pregnant.  It was unplanned, and she had previously said she didn't know if she wanted children.  Dealing with the pregnancy has been a difficult time in her life.   She even found it difficult to say the p-word (pregnant).  She was contemplating only taking two weeks off from her budding professional career postpartum, leaving my brother to take paternity leave.  

The baby would be the first grandchild for my parents, and the first great grandchild for my maternal grandparents.   He will change our previously baby-free family holidays forever.  The announcement was a tough pill to swallow and evoked a lot of “why her and why not me, God?” feelings.  I read the book "Why bad things happen to good people" by Harold Kushner, and it changed my perspective and helped ease some of my pain. 

I try to remember that this is as traumatic of an experience for her right now as she has likely ever been through.  That if I had gotten pregnant when I didn't want to I would have felt similarly.  She is a great person, and I love her.  She has a good heart and she is good to my brother.

She had just learned some of the most private and upsetting details of our infertility journey.  This past spring during an evening canoe ride at the family cottage, I poured my heart out to her about my second miscarriage and a recent breast cancer scare.  During the first miscarriage, she and her mother prayed for us.  It was one of the most caring responses that we experienced. 

Recently, her sister started planning a shower and asked for a date that I would be free to attend.  I live several hours away by car, and felt that it was kind of them to be thoughtful of our travel needs.   I gave a date that I could attend (which was last weekend), and held my breath. 

I wasn’t sure if I would go or not.  In this situation, a last minute excuse would have been very obvious.  The date was set with us in mind, and also because I would be seeing most of the same people the day before at an event.

When I asked one of my biggest IF cheerleaders what to do, she suggested that I not go.  She told me about how she attended her sister’s shower when she was struggling with IF and it resulted in tears at the shower.  

I generally only get later-onset feelings of sadness about these events.  After I’m in the car by myself, or when I’m in the comfort of my own home, the tears come.  Although sometimes I wish I could share my emotions more publicly, but I’m not a public crier.   My debate on whether to attend the shower wasn’t one of whether I could hold myself together there or not.  I knew I could, and for the record, if this were the case, I would have simply chosen not to go.   The choice for me was more about whether what I call the “baby hangover” would be worth it?

I have been to other events, mostly gatherings of friends with their children where if I had I known what the intensity of my feelings would be after the event, I would have chosen not to go.   Tears, and weeks of little tidbits of conversations floating around in my head were torture.

I decided I would go to her shower.  For a few reasons:

1.     Because I wanted to show my support for them. 
2.     She is not annoying about her flaunting her pregnancy.
3.     Because it would have been obvious if I bailed.
4.     I felt like I could get through it without crying.
5.     I was in a relatively good place with our infertility, with no fresh wounds.
6.     I had a plan on how to avoid being traumatized (and hopefully a baby hangover) and worst-case scenario, I had a car to leave anytime I needed to.

My plan to avoid trauma was simple.  Sit as far away from the action as possible.  Sit beside people who would be sensitive to my infertility.  Help with the food and other preparations as much as possible. Pay attention to the baby-related events only when necessary.  Leave at the first opportunity.

Overall, I am glad I went.  I survived and I feel like the baby hangover was very low grade.  I wouldn’t do it for everyone but I’m glad I was able to do it for them.



Time Out



I think writing out and celebrating wonderful memories helps me to extend the feelings of happiness.   I’m hoping that when infertility deals me another low-blow that I might be able to re-read this post in an effort to remember that things can and will get better.

In September, emotionally I was in very rough shape.   Anxiousness and depressive feelings were starting to settle in to my daily life, not just pass through as they have in the past.   They were lying on my chest like a heavy blanket.  Every.single.day.  The burden of infertility and life in general felt as heavy as it ever has.

I previously held a notion that it was just a matter of time before our dreams came true.  I thought we only needed to put in enough time and effort (and money, eek!), before having a baby through fertility treatments.  After 5 years, 7.5 fertility procedures, 2 surgeries, and 2 miscarriages, I felt like we paid our dues.  I felt like this was all a really mean joke.   I started to realize that this might not work out.  We might not become parents through fertility treatments.

Having these thoughts were time consuming.  I didn’t feel like doing much.  I realize now that not only did I stop doing optional things, like my hobbies, but also I was starting to not do every day life things like cleaning the house.   I went to my family doctor and mentioned it.  He gave me a survey and suggested that I had anxiety, and I should see a therapist.  So I did.  

The therapist was helpful and nice but not a windfall of insight, as I had desperately hoped.  She herself had experienced infertility and was very validating about the experience.   She made me realize that the past year + had mostly been spent either completing a fertility cycle with all of its medications, being pregnant, or recovering from a miscarriage.  She suggested a break from fertility.

A break sounded wonderful, however I really couldn’t get my head around the idea.  I felt like taking a break would be counter-productive towards our goals of having a family.   We didn’t have a plan, and needed one more than ever. 

I didn’t notice until now that a break was being handed to us, whether we wanted it or not.   We didn’t have any more embryos to transfer.  Only a plan for the next available appointment with Dr. Schoolcraft, with our fingers crossed that he might deliver a decisive opinion to us, one way or another.  

I spent the first few weeks in October gathering our medical records and organizing them for our CCRM consult.   Reviewing all 250 pages was emotionally exhausting and brought up a lot of old memories.   After it was completed, I was off the hook with all infertility stuff.  For one glorious month from mid-October to mid-November I was infertility-free.  No fertility drugs, no appointments, no lingering news or pregnancy tests waiting to be delivered to us. 

I can honestly say that I never expected this month to be as good as it was!  It was of the best months D and I have had in as long as I can remember.  Maybe even ever!

We actually planned things to do that we didn’t have to cancel because of our fertility calendar!  It helped that some events just fell into our lap.  But we planned some special things ourselves to enjoy.  Some of the things we did this month were:
  • We had company stay over three different weekends!  My university friends, my Dad and his girlfriend, and a person who has become a friend who donated embryos to us two years ago (a story for another time!).
  • We went to Chicago for the weekend to celebrate a friend’s birthday and our 8th anniversary. We had a relaxing time.  It was our first time traveling with this couple and it was fun!  They enjoy a good meal out and she shares a love for photography, what could be better?  
  •  We had our consult with CCRM earlier than expected as a result of being on the on-call waiting list.  It was everything we were hoping for. It was positive and gave us something to be hopeful about.
  •  I went on a shopping trip with some friends from my university years that I don’t usually get to see without their children. 
  •  I had a nice long adult-only lunch with two friends mid-week.  Did I mention it was without their kids? I love their kids, but yeah!!
  •  I celebrated my maternal Grandparents for their 55th wedding anniversary with them.  So grateful to have them in my life, especially after losing my paternal Grandfather this year, and because of my Grandmother’s  recent cancer scare.
  •  I spent time with my wonderful siblings and some friends at a Food & Wine Show and had a great time.
  •  We put an offer in on a piece of real estate that represented us attempting to reach our dreams. It didn’t work out, but I’m still grateful.
  •  I learned how to make a new recipe that is already a new favourite and found a wonderful new wine that I love.
  •  I spent some nice time caring for a few special little humans.  I enjoyed it, and purposely didn’t think about being a mother while caring for them.  I just tried to enjoy their company.
  •  No bad news fertility or otherwise crossed our path. 


The social time and fun was good for me and D.  I don’t usually drink, but had several on more than one occasion.  I had forgotten what it feels like to loosen up like that.  Overall we had a lot of wonderful experiences and made great memories.  For this month, our IF journey was only a small thought in the back of our minds.  What a nice feeling.  Note to self: the time out worked. 

Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Decisions



I'm still feeling so grateful for the opportunity to talk with Dr. Schoolcraft.  He was kind and easy to talk with.  And I feel like his advice just made sense.  Hallelujah! It's a very different feeling then when I have consulted with Dr. M.  I always left confused, the options he gave always seemed to come out of left-field.   Dr. Schoolcraft said was what I expected to hear.  After the appointment I feel what I hoped I would; realistic optimism.  He clarified a lot of things for us and also validated that we had received conflicting information from past doctors, as our case is not cut and dry.

Dr. Schoolcraft basically offered us an IVF cycle with a 50% chance of success (if we could get one normal blastocyst), or a donor egg cycle with a 60-80% chance of success (depending if 1 or 2 embryos were transferred).   It's a big choice that will have life long implications.  And it's an expensive choice.

It seems crazy to bet the cost of an IVF cycle with CCS and travel costs on possibly one lone embryo.  Or to do a second IVF cycle hoping for another chance with a second embryo.

Part of me thinks we should just go for the "surer bet" to become parents with donor egg.  It could end this special hell of infertility, and make us parents.  We've already adopted and transferred 8 donor embryos in the past.  The genetic connection is something we have thought long and hard about.

However, another part of me just wants a genetic child.  For two reasons.  1. For what I call the "science experiment" part of it; to know what D and I would look like together.  And, 2. I feel like it would be easier.  Easier in the sense that I wouldn't have to explain everything to the child and manage a relationship with a genetic family (I would prefer a semi-open relationship egg donor if possible,  but that's a whole other post in itself).  

It goes without saying for D and I that our love for the child would be the same regardless of how they came into our family.  I just feel the need to say that though, because I'm putting this post out into cyber-land.

After discussing it, I think D and I have decided to go with the IVF route.  We've come this far, and we need closure.  As Dr. Schoolcraft summarized, after the IVF, we'll have a baby or an answer.  And if it doesn't work we will have done the pre-work for a donor egg cycle.






Monday, 5 November 2012

CCRM Consult!



We were on a waiting list for an earlier appointment at CCRM.  And late last week we got the call for a last minute appointment, and we jumped on the opportunity.

I had read some things online about CCRM, and I follow a great blog where the author dealt with CCRM.  (http://lifeandloveinthepetridish.blogspot.ca).   My expectations were high for Dr. Schoolcraft after all of the great things that I had read.  And I am very pleased that he did not disappoint.

I wanted to post what I prepared ahead of time to ask, and how he responded. Warning - this is very long! 

1.      How would you summarize our case?

Someone suggested this as a good question to ask because it would show if the doctor had reviewed our records, as well as anything they had missed.   This way we could be confident in the advice we were given from him.

The Doctor however, started off the conversation by asking us to summarize our case for him.  I liked this because it allowed me to get everything on the table.  I also thought this was smart from his point of view to see what we know and where our gaps of information were with our own case.

2.      Why do you think our previous attempts were unsuccessful?

He said it was probably embryo quality, that people with high FSH and sperm issues likely would make abnormal embryos.  He recommended two things:

1.     IVF with own eggs and sperm – He said our last attempts didn’t “answer as many questions as it created”.  He was impressed with how many eggs I made the last time (11, with 9 fertilized, 6 made it to transfer).   He said to see all of the embryos not work would make us think there is a problem with the uterus or the eggs.   The biggest problem with the eggs would be a chromosomal error.  He suggested CCS (comprehensive chromosomal screening) to see if embryo quality was the issue.   He wanted to take a very thorough look at my uterus, and well have us tested for chromosomal errors with both of us. (Note – we have had this testing I believe it is normal).  He suggested transferring just our normal embryos. 

He said the only downside of this option is money.  Especially, if we could afford 2 cycles. “We’ll get a baby or get an answer”.  We would have closure and resolution to this dilemma.

Later, he said that we could do the one-day workup and use this information for either a donor or own egg cycle.  We can decide this later on.

2.     Donor eggs – He recommended this option if we only had enough funds or emotional energy to do one more cycle or attempt.  He said he would be very positive about the success of donor egg.  But he said with our miscarriage with the donor embryo he wouldn’t want to get tunnel vision, he would want to make sure we weren’t overlooking something on the sperm or the uterus. 

3.     He said that he didn’t think I have an issue carrying.  He said there was no evidence to support thinking I have a problem.  He said he would like to do another HSG to see what my tubes and uterus looked like, as well as blood flow to my uterus.

3.      What do you see as the biggest factor against us (ability to carry, eggs, sperm, other)?

He said you would think the sperm would stand out as the biggest factor to him.  But it he said it doesn’t because his chromosomes are normal and he has plenty of sperm to do ICSI.  With normal chromosomes, it doesn’t usually impact IVF rates.  The FSH of 23.8 is the real outlier, and it occurred 3 years ago.  When FSH is above 10, it is saying that my brain, which makes FSH, is yelling and screaming at the eggs to get them to grow.  And usually that implies they are not such good quality.  That’s the most off-the-radar result.

He said that some people with high FSH still make reasonable numbers of eggs, but the quality is poor.  Unfortunately the quality is at the level of the chromosomes.  So, we would be still be clueless, because on day 5 we could have a beautiful blasts, and still have no idea if it they have the right chromosomes.  

He said that my high FSH is what led my first two doctors to recommend donor egg.  He said that’s pretty dramatic.   They were responding to my eggs/FSH in this recommendation, not my uterus or the sperm.

It doesn’t mean we can’t use my eggs or uterus, it means that what you are at risk for, nobody has checked.  We are at risk for producing chromosomally abnormal embryos.  And we can’t know if that’s happening unless we test them. And if we test them then we know a) all our embryos are abnormal, or b) We’ve got some normal.  If we made another 6 or so embryos and had one or two that were normal, we could just put in the ones that were normal, the ones that have a chance to make a baby. 

He said it’s an option to do IVF, but it’s a risky option. Because with an FSH of 24, there’s a pretty good chance that all of our embryos would be abnormal.  We would have to be ready and willing to go through an IVF cycle knowing that it may work or I may not have any embryos to transfer.  He said if we could do multiple cycles going forward, you could argue, I’d give that a try, and it fails, I could still turn around and try donor egg. 

He said if we are at a point where we can only do one more cycle, emotionally or physically, that we should statistically place that bet on donor egg.

[Note: This was a differing opinion than our current/soon to be previous doctor, Dr. M.   Dr. M said that new research was saying it could be a largely sperm quality issue. He thought my eggs were good, and never mentioned this correlation between FSH and egg quality. ]

Dr. S said that he would do a sperm assay to test the sperm but that it was likely that the egg quality is the overriding issue.

4.      One miscariage was with donor embryos and one was with our own embryos.  What do you suggest is the cause of our miscarriages?

He said that the fact that some of our transfers were with donor embryos definitely “muddies the waters”.  He said that we don’t have enough information to tell what the issue is.   That if we chose IVF, we should do CCS to give us more information.  If all of our embies came back as abnormal then we would have our answer about why our last IVF didn’t work.

5.      Why do you think we had morulas instead of blasts (4 of 6 of our own embryos)?  Why do you think this happened?

He said it’s hard to say. That it could be the eggs or the sperm or the lab.  He said many patients go to their clinic because they have a history of poor blast development and when they go there, they have beautiful blasts.  The lab can have a big influence on the embryo growth. They can grow embryos to day 5 when others can’t. 

[Note: Our current lab did grow the embies to day 5.   Admittedly, I have no way of knowing if they did it in the best way.]

What testing would you do on sperm quality?  We know that count and motility aren’t that relevant because we already have to do ICSI.  It’s really a quality issue.  Am I putting a sperm in an egg that could lead to a healthy embryo?  He recommended two tests 1) a chromosome analysis done on his blood. This would be done on me too.  They would be looking for a translocation.  2) Sperm Chromatin Assay.  This asks the question: so he does have all of the 46 chromosomes in the sperm head.  Are they organized in an orderly fashion or are they starting to fragment and break up?  It’s either called a sperm chromatin assay or DNA fragmentation assay.  He said if the DNA are starting to fragment or break up in the sperm head, it can cause embryo quality to be poor.   He said that if both these tests came back normal, then it would be “all about the egg”. 

As a side note – he would also ask for an APA test as well.  This would make sure we didn’t need a carrier.

6.      Dr. M had a theory that my eggs weren’t maturing properly in my natural cycle.  What are your thoughts on this?

He said that this is likely happening. That people who have high FSH commonly have this problem.

7.      What do you think about the antibiotic protocol we were previously on (two separate times to treat a possible sub-clinical infection 500mg flagyl and doxycycline)?

He said they always administer a low dose antibiotic before starting an IVF cycle.  That he didn’t believe in this high dose antibiotic treatment. 100 mg twice a day for seven days of doxycycline.

He said multiple doses or heavy doses of antibiotics is crazy.

Protocol Recommendations:

1)      What are your recommendations for us?
Didn’t ask because he answered right away.

2)      Can you be specific about protocols etc.?

He said he couldn’t.  I asked if they would be dramatically different than our current Doctor’s?  He said no, that he believed that the major difference was in the quality of the lab.  He also said that they prefer to use estrogen patches.

3)      What do you believe are the chances for us to make embryos, to get a positive test, to have a live birth?
·       He said that he doesn’t know. 
·       That a normal couple our age would get 15 eggs, 7 blasts, 4 would be normal.
·       If we looked at that same person with an FSH with 24, it would be much different.  He said it’s bizarre and awesome that I made 11 eggs.  If I made 11 eggs again, I would be only looking at one normal blast.  Not one blast, but one normal.  He said he would be thrilled with that.  One normal blast in their center would give us 50% chance of a live birth. 
·       With one normal embryo we would transfer it during a frozen cycle so we could have a fresh start with my lining and hormones. He said that estrogen levels can be very high with a fresh cycle and that can be a problem.  Also the CCS would require the embryos to be transferred on day 6, and at this time the lining has already passed it’s optimal point.
o   What protocol would you use?  He said he wouldn’t know until he saw my AMH, follicle count etc.
o   Other considerations?  Didn’t ask.

4)      We have someone who is willing to be a gestational carrier.  What are our chances with a gestational carrier? 

He said he doesn’t see any of our problems as us needing a carrier.  He said a carrier would be for a uterine problem or heart condition or something.  He said I had one HSG where they claimed everything was ok.  He would want to see me to verify this by doing an office hysteroscopy and three-dimensional ultrasound.  They would measure my uterine blood flow.

5)      Chances with an egg donor?
He said it would be around 80% if we transferred two embryos, with one, 60%.   They have the highest donor rates in the world, that donor egg works really well.  

6)      What do you think about the ZIFT method? Is it a suitable option?
He said that this was 20-year old technology.  That it was invasive, it’s general aesthesia, and it’s abdominal surgery. It doesn’t work as well as IVF, and you can’t do genetic testing on the embryos.  We would be back to putting embryos in that we don’t know if they are genetically normal.  His words were to stay away from that guy he’s stuck in the 80s. 

7)      How do you treat MTHFR (heterozygous for A1298C mutation)?
He said that 40% of the population has this.  That it doesn’t cause miscarriage.  It can’t be important because otherwise there would be more miscarriages in the general population.  I reminded him about my sister having a stroke at age 28.  He said that he could run a series of blood tests related to clotting, if for nothing else, but to help rule out future problems.
He said MTHFR is an enzyme and it metabolizes something called homocyctine. If your homocyctine levels are high it can cause blood clotting and lead to complications later in pregnancy in the second and third trimester.  So it is worth checking the homocyctine levels, it’s a cheap and easy test to do. This is to make sure my other normal gene is metabolizing the homocystine levels properly.    If the levels are high, the treatment is just high does of folic acid, typically after a month of high dose folic acid, you repeat the homocystine level, and it will be normal.
The worst case you would take some folic acid. It wouldn’t cause IVF to fail.  It wouldn’t even cause a first trimester loss.  

Follow up question – regarding correlations and concerns because my sister had a stroke.  He said there are things like Factor 2, Factor 5, Protein C, Protein S, Antithrombin 3, he said those are things done on the thrombophilia/blood clotting panel.  He said we could check this for me, if for nothing else, to give me some peace of mind for my long-term health.  He said he could make a list of these tests, that I could get them in Canada, where it would be cheaper for me to get them.

a.      What do you think of the Lovenox, Prednizone and Asprin protocol which I was previously on?  He said he would not recommend it. He said it all voodoo.
b.     Do you prescribe Folgard, why or why not? Only to people that have two copies of the mutation or test positive for other clotting problems.

8)      Do you recommend acupuncture or any other treatments in addition to the prescribed protocol?

He said that if blood flow to the uterus was a problem for me (as determined in my one day work-up), then he would recommend it as it can increase blood flow to the uterus.  He said it wouldn’t hurt me.

Other Eastern medicine recommendations? He said they have a list of supplements that they have that we could try. They will give us the list when we come down for our work up.

9)      Do you recommend CCS  (comprehensive chromosomal screening) for us? Why or why not.
Already answered.

10)     Do you recommend co-culture?
He said he recommends it to people that have very few eggs, and their embryos can’t get to day 3, or didn’t get look well at day 3.  He didn’t think we needed it.

11)     What do you think about DHEA and CoQ10? (Dosages)
He said he wouldn’t argue with that.  We did make 11 eggs, which was shocking for my FSH.  There are no randomized trials that show DHEA works, but there are some retrospective studies that show that it may help.  If that’s how you prepared for the cycle that got you 11 eggs, do it again. He felt I should continue 75mg per day.

He said he would do that too.  He said the only data is on a mouse.  But the mouse data looks pretty exciting, it was out of Toronto.  He said the human equivalent of CoQ10 was 600mg.

Testing:

1)     What other testing would you recommend and why?
This was answered through out our session. He said the nurse would send the comprehensive list of tests.

2)     How could the results of this testing change the protocol you would select?
Didn’t ask.  Answered throughout our meeting.

3)     Dr. M has recommended laproscopy and another hysteroscopy.  I could have this done in Canada for free. 
a.      Do you concur with this line of testing?
No.  He was alarmed at this.  He said that I do not need this.  He said that was really terrible advice.  It’s like having a knee surgery when you don’t have a problem.  You can have one, but you don’t need it.  He said there is nothing he could find with a laproscopy that could change.  He said with your husband’s sperm you need IVF.  You’re not going to get pregnant with an IUI.  And the only reason they do a laproscopy is to help the tube pick up the egg to get pregnant.
He said he would like to repeat my HSG because the results suggest my left tube could be blocked distally.  He said the language they used was kind of vague.  He said it’s ok if the tube is blocked right where it hooks on to the uterus.  But if the tube is blocked near the ovary, then that tube can build up fluid and this fluid can back up into the uterus.  This can keep embryos from succeeding.  A distal tubal blockage would mean that I would need something to be done to that tube.  Either it would need to be ligated or removed to keep the fluid from back washing into the uterus.
b.     Would you accept these results? n/a


Lifestyle:
What do you recommend for lifestyle changes? Specifically in the areas of: caffeine, dairy, alcohol (none?), hormones in meats and dairy, hot tubs.

Before procedure: 1-2 cups of caffeine maximum.  Alcohol is ok in moderation (2-3 drinks per week).  He had nothing to say about the hormones in dairy and meat, he felt it was fine to eat.  He said D should not go in the hot tub at all.  That his sperm count was so low, that it could be make it go to zero.

During – no caffeine is better, but one cup a day is ok if I couldn’t eliminate it.

Timeframes:
How long would it be before we could start each of these options?
We could do our one-day work up within 6 weeks. We could potentially be doing IVF in January.  That donor egg could be longer depending on how long it takes us to select a donor.

Are all of your donors anonymous? Theirs are anonymous.  We would see childhood photos and see everything about them except their phone number and address and name.   There are agencies in the USA that allow known donors where you can sit down and interview them.   He said it is truly our choice.  They are happy to use either agency. The nurse could provide the names of the agencies. 

In terms of a satellite clinic, which would you recommend? How important is the one you select?
 He knows a clinic, RMA of Michigan. He helped out, and they know them well. It’s a very reliable place to deal with.  He said IVF Michigan wouldn’t be his favourite place.  He said that other place told us some funny stuff, that RMA has more competence. 

What do you expect the satellite clinic to do? Not much just a few blood tests, measure follicles and estrogens.  They send the data in and they interpret the data and call us at the end of the night.

How long in Colorado?  Come in on day 7 of stim, and stay until egg retrieval.  So it would be about 5-6 days for me.  Dennis only needs to come on the day of the egg retrieval.  I could go home right after the egg retrieval.  After the egg retrieval, they would be growing the embryos, testing and freezing them. 

He said frozen transfers always are better than fresh because of the genetic testing takes time and the uterus only wants an embryo (really) on day 5.  On day 6, it isn’t as receptive.  Estrogen is 10x normal, the progesterone goes up earlier than normal. Nothing is normal.  Several studies have shown that even without genetic testing, frozen cycles are better.

 More to come on what I think of all of this information!