Decisions

I'm still feeling so grateful for the opportunity to talk with Dr. Schoolcraft.  He was kind and easy to talk with.  And I feel like his advice just made sense.  Hallelujah! It's a very different feeling then when I have consulted with Dr. M.  I always left confused, the options he gave always seemed to come out of left-field.   Dr. Schoolcraft said was what I expected to hear.  After the appointment I feel what I hoped I would; realistic optimism.  He clarified a lot of things for us and also validated that we had received conflicting information from past doctors, as our case is not cut and dry.

Dr. Schoolcraft basically offered us an IVF cycle with a 50% chance of success (if we could get one normal blastocyst), or a donor egg cycle with a 60-80% chance of success (depending if 1 or 2 embryos were transferred).   It's a big choice that will have life long implications.  And it's an expensive choice.

It seems crazy to bet the cost of an IVF cycle with CCS and travel costs on possibly one lone embryo.  Or to do a second IVF cycle hoping for another chance with a second embryo.

Part of me thinks we should just go for the "surer bet" to become parents with donor egg.  It could end this special hell of infertility, and make us parents.  We've already adopted and transferred 8 donor embryos in the past.  The genetic connection is something we have thought long and hard about.

However, another part of me just wants a genetic child.  For two reasons.  1. For what I call the "science experiment" part of it; to know what D and I would look like together.  And, 2. I feel like it would be easier.  Easier in the sense that I wouldn't have to explain everything to the child and manage a relationship with a genetic family (I would prefer a semi-open relationship egg donor if possible,  but that's a whole other post in itself).  

It goes without saying for D and I that our love for the child would be the same regardless of how they came into our family.  I just feel the need to say that though, because I'm putting this post out into cyber-land.

After discussing it, I think D and I have decided to go with the IVF route.  We've come this far, and we need closure.  As Dr. Schoolcraft summarized, after the IVF, we'll have a baby or an answer.  And if it doesn't work we will have done the pre-work for a donor egg cycle.