Thursday, 27 March 2014

6 weeks 3 days

Today is 6 weeks and 3 days.

My symptoms are:

  • Extreme tiredness/laziness.  As in, I massively don't care if I get anything done, and I would have two naps a day if I could. 
  • Slightly rounder, heavier feeling and slightly tender boobs.  
  • The twinges/cramps in my uterus stopped a week or so ago.  They freaked me out when they were here, now they are freaking me out that they are not. 
  • I have a very specific opinion about what I want to eat, and what I do not.  My appetite is down and I am craving bland, unhealthy carbs like saltine crackers, white bread and junk food.  I'm feeling guilty about not scarfing down heaps of dark green veggies and other healthy foods right now.

Our ultrasound is scheduled for April the 3rd with Dr. Highrisk.  CCRM says they don't need my progesterone & estrogen levels checked again until that day (gasp!).   Hubby and I decided not to go to our satellite clinic for an earlier appointment (it would have been March 31st at the earliest because of D's travel).  We've decided that we don't want to know the bad news (if there is some) any sooner.

I keep reminding myself that the doctor said that with donor egg there was only a 5% miscarriage rate.  Even with my history of miscarriages, they are still sticking with this number because of the supposedly poor embryo quality we transferred in the past.   Deep down though,  I feel like this number is too low.  I mean, don't get me wrong.  Who wouldn't want to hear 5%?!! It's fantastic! But in my messed up head, that number feels like it should be 40-50%.  At least.

I'd like to sit back and relax.  But I can't.  Anxiety's my middle name these days.   I am driving myself nuts.

Do any of you have tips on how to chill out my overactive infertile brain?


  1. No, suggestions for overactive brains as I have one that I haven't been able to cure as well. But this all sounds like really good news, Julia. Congrats.

  2. No suggestions. : ( Wishing I could just remove my brain or unplug for the rest of the day, so I can only imagine how you feel waiting until next Thursday. The symptoms sound good though. Hoping this is it!

  3. Hoping April 3rd hurries up!!

  4. no suggestions except for maybe prayer and/or meditation? That could help for at least 10 min. lol. I will be thinking of you and ready for an amazing update on 4/3!

  5. I hope the next week flies by. I know these first few weeks waiting for that ultrasound can be so hard. Things are sounding great though, so I hope you find some peace and comfort in that!! xoxo

  6. Your list sounds remarkably and wonderfully similar to early symptom lists of the successfully pregnant. But I'm sure I'd be a high state of anxiety in your shoes. I hope the next week goes by fast for you!

  7. Any chance to distract yourself by a task that actually needs to be done, and that you might even somewhat enjoy? Otherwise, I don't know either... snuggle up with your husband, and enjoy things the way they are now.
    Hoping everything goes well on the 3rd and beyond!

  8. Fingers crossed for you Julia.

    in case you are interested, I have just written a novel about infertility told from a man's point of view inspired by my own journey through IVF. Its the comic tale of a man, his dysfunctional sperm and his desire to make a baby. Its called My Little Soldiers and is available on Amazon.

  9. My ultrasound is on the same day as yours! Except I'll be at 5 weeks 3 days. Your symptoms sound right on track, woo! As far as turning your brain off, here are my suggestions:
    ---Engrossing novels
    ---Engrossing movies
    ---Baking (especially elaborate recipes)

    Zoloft has helped me tremendously and I LOVE it, but I realize it's probably not something you'd want to start taking now.

  10. I hope you were able to find good distractions on the weekend. I remember this time in my pregnancy as a very, very anxious one. You will find the resources to cope.


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