Tuesday, 31 March 2015

MIL issues and the best medicine

I hate confrontation.  

However, my MIL finally pushed my last button.  I even broke the rule that D and I have where he deals with his family and I deal with mine for more difficult issues. 

MIL been insisting on feeding Babykins junk food.   EVERY time I see her, she makes a comment about what sweet treat she's going to give him.   He's not even 6 months old yet.  

We made a choice and set a boundary.  Hubby and I don't want to give our baby junk food, especially in his first year.  And while I don't really want him to have it in his second year either, I'm sure he'll get a taste here or there of certain things. We are not going to be that strict. 

I've been ignoring her comments and D had told her (albeit very mildly and passively) that we aren't feeding him that stuff.  

Yesterday, she once again brought up the topic. She told me about how she is going to feed Babykins cookies (and not baby cookies) when she is babysitting him in May while my brother gets married. 

I couldn't take it anymore. I finally asserted myself and told her that it really bothers me she keeps saying stuff like that.  I told her that we don't want him eating anything unhealthy before he is a year old.   

Side note: I may very well choose to give him a taste of something one day- but I see this as a major respect issue and I want to be clear with her. 

She proceeded to tell me that her friend's kids aren't allowed soda, but she gives it to them when they are at her house anyways.  Who says AND DOES crap like that!?!?

She's told me things like this before about what kids eat at her house.  

I told her that if she does this, that maybe she wouldn't get asked to babysit again.  

She said you'll never know.  

I said maybe we'll need to get some cameras then. 

Then, there was awkward silence between us.  A lot of it. 

D and Father-in-law were in the room measuring for some baby gates that they are going to build.  They continued what they were doing and then they left. 

It's such a first world, problem, and one that any childless-not-by-choice person would love to have, I know.  But it still has me a bit riled up.  I keep trying to remind myself that I this is HER problem and she should be the one that feels icky right now, not me. 

I should be proud of myself for setting boundaries, and being assertive. For some reason,  it doesn't entirely feel that way though.  Like I said, I hate confrontation. 

But gah! She has a lot of nerve, doesn't she!?!

It will be interesting to see how our next visit goes, which happens to be tomorrow. 

The rest of the day was still a great one though. I went to my exercise class with Babykins and enjoyed the company of the people there. 

When I came home I found seven (!) humongous wild turkeys at the end of my driveway! I live in town and it's not something I've ever seen that close before. My neighbour even came out in his bathrobe and was feeding them within close range. It was quite the sight! 

Then we ate lunch and I put Babykins in his exerciser. And my oh my, he had such abundant belly laughs that is allowed me to get my camera out. I filmed a video of three solid minutes of him just laughing his head off, literally - he was throwing his head back every time he giggled- when I popped up from below where he could see me. 

It melted my heart and I have watch that video I thousand times over and over. I would share it here, but I'm in a place where I'm not sure about how much I want to visually show about our lives at this point so I'm going to hold off. 

I tell you though, it is honestly the best medicine that I could've asked for to get over the stuff that was happening with my MIL. 


  1. Good for you! I am so glad you stuck up for your baby and what you as parents haven chosen to be the right thing. Inlaws, friends, family need to respect your choices. PERIOD.

  2. Wow!! Your MIL is unbelievable!! Why wouldn't she want what's best for Babykins?? It doesn't make any sense at all. Good for you for standing up to her. I would've done the same!

  3. Your MIL should respect your choices. I get that grandparents want to spoil their grandchildren, but this is about his health. Good for you for setting boundaries, though I'm sure I'd feel similarly uncomfortable. My in-laws are arriving tonight and want to watch SB for the next 10 days, and I worry that similar issues may come up... although I have to admit that so far at least what they have said has been pretty reasonable. What makes me worry is that they used to put honey in their kids' bottles to make them sleep through the night... maybe that was common practice back then. Anyway - better enjoy the belly laughs :)

  4. Why would any grandparent want to do something that is so explicitly against the wishes of the child's parents? I just don't get it. It sounds selfish and petty to me, and good for you for standing up to her.

  5. I am so on your side!! We have that same expectation-my husband deals with awkward inlaw stuff and we also have the same rule! Darren and I are going to be die hards about ZERO candy/junk till they at least know what it is. Our goal is like 4 years old! We have has the passive conversations with our families too (one of them gave my neice whip cream at like 7 months, GASP ;). I HATE confrontation more than anything but I couldn't help but find the humor in your conversation. "You will never know" "Maybe I should get a camera"??? Hhahahahahahahah. Amazing!! Glad he is being so cute and laughy! I'm DYING for the laughs over here!

  6. Good for you for! It's not like this is some unreasonable demand either - it's good and healthy for your baby! But even if it were something crazy, that's YOUR choice to make for YOUR baby. Keep standing up to your MIL! (I say this even though I have never once stood up to mine. But I'm a wuss.)

  7. It really seems like she's being willful. Giving soda to all the kids in the neighbourhood? Is she trying to increase the rates of diabetes?

  8. Good for you for standing up to her. That is beyond disrespectful. We had the same rule about no junk food in the first year. They are getting occasional junk food treats now, but it's so rare that they don't really know what it is (and sometimes won't eat it because they don't recognize it) So far, people are respecting our wishes, but I expect that will change as they get older. I don't want them to ever have fast food, but at some point I won't be able to control everything they eat like I can now. I don't see why it's so hard to respect how someone wants to raise their kid even if it's not how you would do it.

  9. She is wrong, you are right, and she needs to respect you, and reading this makes me want to shake some sense into that lady...gahhhh...

    We went to a friend's on Easter and immediately the friend (male friend of DH's) was contradicting everything I said...Me: "I might need to change his diaper now." Him: "No, he's okay." Me: "You need to support him a little more up here when you hold him because he can't sit up yet." Him, shrugging: "He seems okay to me." His mom: "Why don't you get him a playpen so he can be more comfortable?" Me: "He doesn't like to lie on his back--acid reflux." His mom: "He's waking up already? That wasn't very long! That's not a *nap*!" I was ready to punch someone in the face!

    People---especially MILs---can be so disrespectful. It's disheartening. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Ugh. Wish me luck when we visit my batshit crazy MIL in a couple of months. I told DH that I am going to buy some wine and secretly stash it in our room (because they don't really drink, or offer drinks). xo

  10. I'm so glad you stood up to her! But her reaction is shocking. I can't even begin to imagine what this power play is really about in her crazy mind. In-laws!


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