I have many emotional IF side effects. Extra anxiety, check. A little depressed, check. Mood swings, check and check. And the list goes on.
One of the more strange ones is that I tend to think that everyone who has even a hint IF must have severe infertility. I jump right to the worst case prognosis. It doesn't matter if the person only has an increased risk for IF. If they haven't conceived in 6 months I start feeling panicky for them. Even if they aren't trying I worry. I don't always vocalize (or type) these concerns but I'm sure that it seeps out from time to time.
In other parts of my life I try to be more positive. Well, I'm being brutally honest at least I do outwardly. But in this, I don't do well. I feel like it's going to be hard for them. I feel like they all need to get to a top specialist and start taking drugs and supplements - and fast. That they need to read every book under the sun and learn every little thing about their condition. Even if they don't have a condition. Even when the condition they do have is easily treated.
I should know by now, that things just work out for some people. Some of them have take a little Clomid and got knocked up. Some of them don't take Clomid and get knocked up. But the rational part of my brain disappears and goes into overdrive when I hear someone has infertility.
I have to actively tell myself when I learn of another person's IF to relax! Take a deep breath and calm down! I try to tell myself that just because it has been like this for us for us, doesn't mean it's going to be like that for them.
Do any of you do this too?
Not exactly this, but a co-worked confided that he and his wife were TTC and thinking of getting a fertility monitor. I was all "No! They're expensive, you don't need one, I have books, and a thermometer, and I can teach you how to chart, and..." I think he was frankly a little overwhelmed! I haven't met anyone in the early stages of IF exploration but I'm sure I'd be giving them all sorts of scary and unnecessary info.
ReplyDeleteThe worst thing that can happen is when I'm already thinking all of these crazy thoughts and then the person asks me a fertility question. I have a really hard time turning it off. It's like a hose with a little leak, that all of a sudden turns into a gushing fire hose.
DeleteI knew I was crazy when I was teaching my best friend (before they even started TTC) to examine their cervical mucus!
ReplyDeleteAwesome, haha. :)
DeleteI do something similar and imagine worst case scenarios for people.
ReplyDeleteMy sister told me she was pregnant as soon as she got a positive test. I immediately began worrying about chemical/ectopic/no heartbeat...
And when my coworker went overdue with her baby, I began worrying about increased risk of stillbirth and asking her about kick counts...
I call it the burden of knowledge. You KNOW how much can go wrong. But "regular people" don't know.
I so get that too. I've had 2 miscarriages and it's never far from my mind when I hear about someone's early stage pregnancy. I wish I didn't have to think these things!
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