A mismash of updates

I healed really well from the surgery.  I think I healed even faster than normal.  Although I don't know if I can truly say that because I've never had a surgery with an incision on my skin before (they've been vaginal).

My incisions look like brand new skin.  I'm happy that I healed well and there was no infection.  I have been wondering if the heavy Ubiquinol (the active form of CoQ10) had something to do with this.  At Christmas time, I cut off the very tip of my finger with a knife and it also healed really fast. I had new pink skin at the end of my finger within 3-4 days.

The only side effect from the surgery was that I was having a lot of dark brown spotting.  I expected this, but after 7 days it wasn't decreasing.  I called the nurse to check.  I told her I wasn't sure if this was my period even though it was only cycle day 18.  I was confused by my body. She was very reassuring and said it was normal to have this for 7-10 days.

The very next day I got the answer to my question.  I got my period.  It's now here with a vengeance. I hate-hate-hate maxi pads and that's all they want me to use for a month.  I'll be glad when it is over.

I'll also be glad when it's over because I will be able to have sex again.  It's been years.  Or maybe it just feels like years.  I guess really it's been about 3 weeks.

The good news is that I have started my priming protocol (which I described in the comments section of my last post if you are interested).

A couple of days ago, booked my acupuncture appointments.  I can't remember if I talked about it here, but I decided to take a hiatus from them until I got closer to the embryo transfer.   I actually liked going, but I pay out of pocket for the appointments and going twice a week was $120.  I felt like it was too expensive to continue.

 After I booked my appointments, I realized that I  had completely gotten ahead of myself.  I am only going to start this before the embryo transfer to increase uterine blood flow. I felt really embarassed calling the receptionist back and cancelling all of my appointments.  I was honest with her about what happened.  I beat myself up a bit over it though.  It was a really dumb thing to do.  I know it's also dumb to beat yourself up over a little mistake, but I couldn't seem to help it.   This combined with some other stressors yesterday made me quite anxious.

Six months ago I wouldn't have been able to say what "anxious" felt like.  I didn't think I had anxiety until I filled in a survey in my family doctor's office.  Ding, ding! I won the prize with a nice high score in the anxiety department.  I thought I was going to be high in the depression category (it wasn't great either).  That led me to do some reading and also some self analysis.  I realized how anxious I really was feeling a lot of the time.  I think the stress of infertility has magnified my feelings of anxiety.