Holly's hope

Holly and her husband are navigating the unimaginable loss of their triplets to miscarriage and stillbirth.  

Her words often strike me deeply, but this post on hope especially hits home for me.  

Decision & Update: Day 3

Just wanted to say thank you so much for all of your input on the 1 or 2 decision.  It means a lot to hear from people who have been in the situation. 

My heart wants to do two.  But my head (and the doctor) says to do one.  So, we are only going transfer only one.  If there was anything wrong with the embryo quality or my lining we would choose to transfer two.  Fortunately, (gratefully!, amazingly!) this hasn't become an issue.

We made this decision because we are scared of the risks, more than we are scared of having twins.   We have been the low/negative odds it seems with all of our infertility stuff and we don't want to risk it... this time.  Also, because this is our first attempt with donor egg, and the donor was 21 years old, we feel we should see what happens with one first. There's so much more that went into this decision, but that's the short version.

If this transfer doesn't work, next time we might try two.  But we'll see.  Hoping we don't need to make this decision.

It's 9:30am right now in Colorado.  We have 30 more minutes to wait to hear if we will be having a day 3 transfer.  If  we don't get a call, we're off to take a little trip for a couple of days.  

I look forward to commenting on all of your blogs soon - so much as been going on!  I've been mostly using my iphone and the blogger app for updates, and there is some kind of browser glitch between the two.  It makes me miss my computer!

DAY 3 UPDATE:

* We are doing a day 5 transfer. 
* We have eleven (!)  6-10 cell "very good" looking embryos.  They discarded one that stopped growing and two others are growing but not as well.
* Feeling happy and grateful! Off to Vail!

1 or 2

So today we met with Dr. Gustofson instead of Dr. Schoolcraft.

I am happy we met with him. He was so  personable. He even smiled-more than once!  Dr. S is just really laid back and kind of nonchalant. I've heard him described by another blogger as a cool cucumber, and I agree. Dr. G was laid back, but in a different, more warm way.  

Some key information from our visit:

- He says we have an 85% chance of a positive pregnancy test if we transfer two high quality embryos. 

- Transferring 2 has a 40-50% chance of twins.

- Twin pregancies have a 10-15% chance of complications, including lifelong problems or death for babies, due to the risk of prematurity. 

- Transferring 1 has a 65-75% chance of  success. 

- He recommends 1, however 1 or 2 is our choice. They only need to know 5 minutes before transfer. 

- 70% of couples choose to transfer 2. 

- The cost of a FET including our travel and meds would be between $6-8k.  

- Chance of a miscarriage is less than 5% with donor eggs. This doesn't change much with the intended mother's age. They don't see an increased risk of miscarriage because of my history with miscarriage (CCRM attributes them to embryo quality). 

- He said the risks of pregnancy complications don't increase dramatically each year. At my age (34), he said risks of pregnancy start really increasing in 7-8 years. 

- We asked about transferring 1 higher quality and 1 lower. He said they won't do that. This is because the research is showing if you lose 1 of the 2 babies then the remaining one doesn't do as well.  

We went in there thinking we'd transfer 2.   Now we're both on the fence.  The chance of twins and complications are much higher than expected. 

Looks like we've got some thinking to do over the next couple of days. 

 

Fertilization report

It's great news! 

Out 15 eggs, 14 survived the thaw. 

And then, with ICSI and IMSI, all 14 fertilized. 

We spoke directly with the embryologist which was nice. At our last clinic (and currently our satelite clinic) speaking with the embryologist was only by special request.  He said the likelihood of a day 3 transfer at this time is small, however we still need to be prepared for it. 

We are breathing a big sigh of relief to have jumped one more hurdle. 

Today, we meet with Dr. Schoolcraft to discuss the fertilization report and how many to transfer. We've always transferred two, with the exception of one time because that's all we had. 

Even though the embryo quality is (hopefully) much higher than the donor embryos and our own embryos we've used in the past, I think we will transfer two again. That is, unless we hear a very  compelling argument and recommendation from the doctor to do just one. Even then, I think we may still do two. 

Our next update on our embabies is Thursday. 

Update from Colorado

My lining is a 9.8mm.  The doppler showed normal blood flow to my uterus! Before it was recorded to be below what they wanted and had some backflow.

The acupuncture protocol and eliminating caffiene was supposed to improve this and it looks like it did. Or, maybe it was a fluke. Who knows.  (Updated to add: Or maybe it is the Lovenox and baby Asprin?)

Now we wait for the early fertilization report tomorrow.  

Something interesting that I learned from the nurse today was about day 3 transfers. I always thought that day 3 transfers were done if the embryos weren't growing well. The nurse said that in donor cycles that isn't the case (usually). She said that sometimes they grow too quickly so they need to be transferred sooner. This happens only 5% of the time. She said that their success rates in donor cycles with day 3 vs. 5 embryos were the same. 

We celebrated our good news (or rather lack of bad news I suppose) with some refined white carbs, at Ihop.  Not the healthiest, but it tasted good! 

On our way today!

I thought the nesting phase was supposed to start much, much later.

I've really been gearing up for this transfer.  I want to really take it easy when I get home.  And I want to enjoy a clean and organized house while I'm taking it easy.   Everything is in it's place.  I even finished painting and organizing a few small spaces.  I am impressed with myself!

I've planned for a friend to come visit for a couple of days after I get home, just before our beta.   I know it will be a good distraction.  And she'll be a very good guest from an emotional/infertility point of view.  She's a nurse who just had a minor surgery and is off work.  She's always taking care of everyone else.  I think while she's here I'll enjoy pampering her a little bit.

I spent the morning watching bits and pieces of the Olympics.  I loved watching montage they did of the athletes after their events.  One Olympian said to remember that when you want something and put your whole life into it, whether it be sport or something else, that it will pay off.  He said just keep trying.  You'll get there.  I'm going to take his motivational words personally today.  In many ways,  I   feel like an Olympian of infertility.

I am ready.  Hubby is ready.  Please, please, please let this be it for us.

J

PS) There are no more adhesive remnants on my body! Yay! Thanks for the tips! They couldn't have come at a better time.  I'm up to 4 patches every other day now.

Sticky situation

Any tips out there for how to get the remaining ring of sticky stuff off your skin from the estrogen patches?

My skin is raw from my previous attempts over the past few weeks.  I've tried a bunch of things.  Nothing works well.  My most successful attempts so far have involved vaseline and scraping with my fingernail.

There has to be a better way!