Tuesday, 11 February 2014

A strange feeling

What is that? I turn my face slightly toward the ceiling and squint my eyes a little bit.

Is that a little hope I'm feeling?

Oh man, it's been a while...

I almost didn't recognize it.  

At the mall today, I turned and looked through the window of a maternity clothing store.  Can you imagine such a crazy thing?!?

I have caught myself reading about baby names on more than one occasion.  Even thinking about twin names, bahahaha! I was scared that it might induce a baby hangover, but I didn't care.

I've been thinking about my minor home reno projects that involve painting or other chemicals, and wondering if those will ever get done.  Because, you know I might be pregnant soon and all.

I'm livin' on the wild side here, folks.

A huge part of me doesn't want my hopes up in fear of the crash.  And oh, it will be a big one if this doesn't work.... but I don't want to think about that now.  I cannot help it.  I'm actually starting to get a teeny tiny bit excited for our upcoming transfer which is tentatively scheduled for the first of March.  

Oooh.  The first of March, that means a November due date.  See what I mean? My mind is wandering these days to places it hasn't been in a long, long time.

The hope of today feels to me like the first few times we tried donor embryos.   Except this time it comes with a side of 'a lot more pressure' and 'scared shitless of failure'.

This is first time we're doing this with odds significantly in our favour (Dr. Schoolcraft said 80%).  My uterus is good.  I think.  The embryos will be good.  I hope.  Holy crap, this just might be it.


  1. That's wonderful to hear, and 80% sounds like amazing odds!

  2. Trying to get better about checking my blogger blogs! I'm feeling hopeful for you. It's okay to hope! I'm hoping like crazy for myself in spite of all odds and sometimes worry about falling off a cliff...but then I think: oh well, I'd fall off a cliff anyway if things don't work out.
    Your odds sound fabulous.

  3. P.S. I just created a google blogger profile ("TUT") so that I can comment on Blogger blogs more easily. (This is The Unexpected Trip.)

  4. big smile! so glad you are feeling up! i am hopeful for you! keep us updated!

  5. Good luck, Julie! I am hopeful for you. As I try to decide the best course of action - donor eggs or donor embryos. CCRM or a clinic closer to home…I'm overwhelmed. So glad you've gotten through that and are on to feeling hopeful again,

  6. I'm so hopeful for you...I'll be praying for you!!


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