We were satisfied with his answer at the time, but I've had some time to think about it and now I'm not so sure.
I believe that knowing how many normals we have left will dramatically change how we proceed.
Scenario 1: No CCS, The original plan.
- If I miscarried again, we wouldn't know if it was because of an abnormal.
- It would be more difficult to determine when it would be time to retire my ute.
- I don't think I have enough stamina left in me to go through any more losses. Especially if the loss was due to an abnormal embryo, that never would have most likely never had a chance of making it.
- I could have a baby on the very next shot, and save ourselves the cost of CCS. Oh, to dream! (10 embryos is $6,875 + $1,000 because they were previously frozen = freaking gag me.)
- I would be seriously considering transferring 2 embryos at a time, at Dr. S's recommendation. Having multiples and the complications and loss that could happen because of this scares the crap out of me.
- My clock is ticking. I can't stand the thought of doing this all for many more years. Six years has been enough. Miscarriages and FETs take time. My body seems to get pregnant even when the embryos are abnormal. Of course, I don't know this for sure. Especially for our last cycle. I am quite confident that my first two miscarriages (from our own IVF and the donor embryos) were because of abnormal embryos. In all reality, to do 5 transfers with our 10 embryos would take over a year. If more miscarriages or cancelled cycles were thrown into the mix, it would probably be double that.
Scenario 2: CCS reveals all DE embryos are abnormal:
- This could happen. This is us after all. And Dr. S says there is a small chance of this because D has wonky sperm.
- We would be devastated. I don't even want to imagine this. We would have flushed a lot of money down the toilet on this DE escapade. However, knowing this information would prevent us from:
- Throwing good money after bad. Meds, lost wages, travel costs and FET costs.
- Emotionally, it would be less painful to get one big dose of bad information than have it spread out over many BFNs or miscarriages.
- Knowing this would save us a lot of time.
Scenario 3: CCS reveals some normals:
- Dr. S said 3-4 normal embryos would be a realistic expectation when we started the DE process based on how many embryos we have.
- We would know what we were working with. How many transfers to possibly expect.
- We would only transfer one at a time. Less risk to me and babies.
- We wouldn't have to transfer the other 7 abnormal embryos.
- Less emotional heartache, especially if there was one or more miscarriages.
- Financially, we could avoid the meds, travel, lost wages and FET costs for (maybe) 3 transfers?
- Math: If we transferred 2 at a time, assuming all survived the thaw, we would be doing at 3 extra/unnecessary transfers. FET is $5,005 costs, say $2,500 for meds (Lovenox is expensive), and $1,000 for travel. These are low estimates that do not include testing that would need to be updated. The grand total is $25,515 vs. the $7,875 cost of CCS.
- Physically, I would not have to take the drugs or have the side effects for those transfers. Amen.
- If I knew that I miscarried a normal embryo.
- It is very important information to know, but not the complete picture. I now know that 50% of early miscarriages are with normal embryos.
- Knowing this information would be more difficult for me emotionally because of the implications using my uterus.
- If I put all of the normals into my body and they don't work, I will have to face the music that I've done all I can do with my body and it's time to move on to something else.
- We could transfer a normal embryo and have a baby straight away. (I'm ready for this, universe! Pretty please?)
- If we had a child from these embryos, we would know exactly what we had left (if anything) in the freezer. If we didn't have anything left, but had one child, we might make the decision to end this
journeyhell trip there. If we had 2 embryos left, and we transferred them, I would of course have my hopes up for another child. Knowing how many normals we have would give me a big reality check through the rest of this process if we were lucky enough to have one baby.
- If we try some normals, and have one or more miscarriages, we may be able to transfer our last normal(s) into a gestational carrier (if someone I know will do it - don't think we can spring for the $100k for a GC).
- Okay, you can have a good laugh here, because I am. But if we had several extra embryos (ha!), we plan to donate them to another couple. This is because we were recipients of donor embryos and we would like to pay this generous gift forward. If I knew that I had say, only one normal embryo left, no matter how many kids I had I would just transfer it. If we didn't CCS and had say, 4 remaining embryos, after our family was complete (again, I laugh at myself that I'm even writing this), I would probably be thinking of donating them. Those last 4 could be all abnormals. I don't want to give another couple abnormal embryos. And, I don't want to be involved with donating any embryos if I can avoid it. (PS- Did you know that to have the option of donating the embryos CCRM charges approximately an extra $750 in blood work - that was a nasty little surprise.)
Risks to the embryos:
- We are waiting to hear this from Dr. S during our second regroup on Wednesday.
- Some of our normals might not freeze well a second time, or survive thaw at transfer time. We could harm an otherwise normal embryo.
We have a lot of hope still tied up into these 10 little embabies.
We'll see what Dr. S has to say about all of this Wednesday. I wonder if he'll change his tune?
What do you think? What have I missed?