Friday, 21 December 2012


I was asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding this July.  The offer completely caught me off guard to say the least.  I had met her all of three times before she asked me.   I'm not a good surprise-reactor under the best of situations, let alone this one where I hadn't even had time to process what I thought about it all.  D was also asked to be in the wedding party.

So, I hugged her and said a mostly enthusiastic, "sure!"

A month or so later it came out, that I was actually being asked to stand up for her fiancé, which made a little more sense.  He is D's long time friend, and he has hung out at our house a lot.  We've helped him get through some tough times in his past.

It's interesting. But, oh well I thought.  It will save me sitting at a table full of significant others who I don't know.  And maybe D & I will get a nice picture all dolled up together.  :)

The bride has been changing her mind (a few times) on the styles of bridesmaid dresses that she would like.   While other bridesmaids were growing slightly annoyed by the decision making process, I couldn't care less.  For one, I don't care what I'm wearing, it's her day, and I'm happy to wear a paper bag if that is what she wants.  It would be a plus if I liked the dress,  but it doesn't really matter.   The bride had many other people chiming in to give her advice, so I just sat back and relaxed.

After much deliberation over the course of a few months, the bride selected the bridesmaid dresses. She also let us know that they are on sale right now.  So, the good bridesmaid that I am, I called the store and ordered my dress.

There is only one problem though.  What size to order?   At first I thought I would just order my size and an extra bit of material.  You know, in case I was actually pregnant next July.

But I wasn't sure if this was the best option.  Maybe I should just order a larger dress?  That might be a weird conversation.  Umm, I'm planning on getting fatter, what size should I order?  So, I confided in the clerk my hopes of becoming pregnant, and asked her what I should do about sizing.  Deep down, I silly even saying it his to her.  Of course she doesn't know my history, but I've been through this before.  Thoughts of maybe by next Christmas or at my next birthday?  Should I buy that new winter coat? This sweater is great, because I could also wear it as a maternity sweater, I've told myself more than a few times.

It's such a hard thing to figure out.
a) If I'll be pregnant (please, please, please universe!), and
b) what size of a preggo I would be? (I think I'll be a nice plump one if I ever get the chance) , or
c) Will it be a pregnancy from our first CCRM IVF resulting in third trimester baby bump?
d) Will we (still holding my breath for a miracle) have more embies to transfer in a frozen cycle if the first transfer doesn't work?  Might I be pregnant, but only in the first or second trimester?
e) Will we have finally closed the door on OE, and moved on to DE and be in the early stages of a DE pregnancy? or
f) be where we are now, childless and not pregnant with one super-sized teal coloured bridesmaid dress?  Correct that, I mean as the bride would say, "malibu" coloured dress.

I decided to error on the side of optimism.  I ordered the dress two sizes larger than I am now.   They told me they could take it in if they needed to, and that it shouldn't be too hard with the style of dress.   But if things don't work out, I'm going to have a yucky little reminder in the early summer when I go in have my alterations done.

Here's to hoping I won't need those alterations.


  1. I like the idea of ordering couple sizes larger. I am keeping my fingers crossed you will end up with a perfect fit for your baby bump next July. I wish you a great journey and fast results with CCRM! finding the right clinic did the trick for us.
    ICLW #51

  2. Here from ICLW. I hope the dress is the exact right size next July and that you get some great pictures.

  3. Hi from ICLW. I'm hoping that you won't have to alter the dress.

  4. Hi from ICLW. I do the same thing when I buy things or make plans - always considering whether I might be pregnant. Ugh. Hope you really do need the bigger size. I am considering checking out CCRM if my next IVF doesn't work since my in-laws live in Denver(I also have DOR and MFI) so I'll be interested to see how it goes for you.

  5. Thank you all. I like this ICLW thing. I'll be checking you all out. :)

  6. Crossing fingers for no alterations for you!

  7. Hi from ICLW, feeling like your life is on hold is one of the frustrating things about infertility and it's hard to have to look into the future for these decisions. Here's hoping it all works out for you!


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