This post was written Saturday...
We are still waiting on my nephew to be born. Last night I went to a party that we didn't think we could go to because we expected to be out of town, visiting the newborn. There was a 2 month old baby there which almost every woman there doted on and swooned over. I say almost because I didn't. I guess more accurately should say I couldn't. I survived five hours of that.
When I woke up this morning, I read a really fantastic blog article. It really spoke to me. It was about getting over infertility. I've lost the link but I am going to try to find it again. It got me thinking about a lot of things.
We are still waiting on my nephew to be born. Last night I went to a party that we didn't think we could go to because we expected to be out of town, visiting the newborn. There was a 2 month old baby there which almost every woman there doted on and swooned over. I say almost because I didn't. I guess more accurately should say I couldn't. I survived five hours of that.
When I woke up this morning, I read a really fantastic blog article. It really spoke to me. It was about getting over infertility. I've lost the link but I am going to try to find it again. It got me thinking about a lot of things.
Yesterday I went to my local fertility clinic. The ladies there greeted me warmly and gathered around to see me. They are very kind, and I like them a lot. They let me know they were rooting for me. I really appreciate them.
There were a couple of awkward moments, like when the Plebotomist came into the discussion late and thought I was coming in to say I was pregnant (I wish) and when someone else told me a story about two couples she knew that had infertility for five years and just got pregnant. I think she was trying to inspire me but all it did was make me feel sad. I had a big parking lot cry as I left the building. That parking lot has seen a lot of my darkest moments. Just driving back there after being away from it since the fall brought a lot of memories flooding back.
There were a couple of awkward moments, like when the Plebotomist came into the discussion late and thought I was coming in to say I was pregnant (I wish) and when someone else told me a story about two couples she knew that had infertility for five years and just got pregnant. I think she was trying to inspire me but all it did was make me feel sad. I had a big parking lot cry as I left the building. That parking lot has seen a lot of my darkest moments. Just driving back there after being away from it since the fall brought a lot of memories flooding back.
I also paid our bill to CCRM for the IVF. We are now officially another $22,000 poorer. Shit.
Combine all of that with an increasing feeling that I want to move five hours away from this city and I had a bit of a melt down today.
I'm so sick of meltdowns.
The day turned around though! D and I talked about a lot of things. We spent some time talking about where we live. It felt good to get it off my chest a bit. I've been waiting for a good time to talk to him about everything. There's never a good time to say "I'd like to move you away from your parents and all of your closest friends". He took it well though. We're still working this out, we don't have a plan as of yet.
We spent the afternoon relaxing in bed. First with me crying. Then it turned into talking, reading napping, cuddling, lovin', and more talking. Add in some plans to go out to dinner, and it really fixed me up!
I'm so sick of meltdowns.
The day turned around though! D and I talked about a lot of things. We spent some time talking about where we live. It felt good to get it off my chest a bit. I've been waiting for a good time to talk to him about everything. There's never a good time to say "I'd like to move you away from your parents and all of your closest friends". He took it well though. We're still working this out, we don't have a plan as of yet.
We spent the afternoon relaxing in bed. First with me crying. Then it turned into talking, reading napping, cuddling, lovin', and more talking. Add in some plans to go out to dinner, and it really fixed me up!
So glad that your day took a turn for the better and you were able to talk about a potential move! Lounging around in bed all day can cure a lot :-)
ReplyDeleteUgh. I hate when people tell me stories about couples who tried so long and had so many problems and now they are pregnant. Usually, the story ends with a miracle natural pregnancy after failed IVF. I get that people tell me those stories to give me hope, but they really don't. Glad your day got better.
ReplyDeleteGlad you and D finally had that chat that you've been wanting for so long. It must have been good to get it off your chest. Glad to hear the day perked up for you.
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